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Love Hurts

Love HurtsAugust Marriage Message

Sometimes you hurt the one you love.  In fact you probably hurt the one you love more than anyone else.  So what can you do to help restore that relationship.  Here are a few things to remember when you need to say you’re sorry.

   

 

    1.    Admit to yourself, and to your spouse that your behavior has been hurtful.
    2.    Apologize and show genuine regret for your behavior.
    3.    Do not add any exuses or justification.
    4.    Listen to and accept what your spouse is feeling.
    5.    Apologize again and accept responsibilty.

Don’t forget that just because you apologize, it doesn’t mean the other person has to forgive you right away.  Give it time and allow them to go through the process on their own time.  On the other hand, it is important for a spouse that has been hurt to be able to release themselves and the other person from the incident.  Holding on to a hurt only does further damage, forgiveness is the only way to relieve the pain.

The good news is that couples usually end up closer and more connected after they go through a difficult time.  Love may hurt sometimes but, much like a bone that has been broken, it becomes stronger when repaired.

4 Comments

  1. i have ignored my wife and kids for quite awhile, my wife has asked for a divorce i don’t want this she has agreed on getting counceling with me, we have 4 kids and marriage needs to be saved, i know this might take time,can you help.

    • Billy,
      Yes, we can help. You need to apply for our “Revive” workshop for struggling couples using the following link
      http://communitymarriagebuilders.com/2014/02/12/revive/ You may also want to check out our list of counselors under the “Resources” tab. After you apply our Intake Coordinator will contact you in order to get you in a workshop that best fits your schedule.

  2. I know I’ve hurt my husband but he’s hurt me more. I have apologized to him but I keep saying stuff to hurt him. What should I do?

    Tonya

    • Tonya,
      If you want to move forward in your relationship you cannot get stuck in the past. Doing the same thing in the same way will always get you the same results. It sounds like it might be time for you both to learn some new skills so that you can find better ways to communicate. I think you would benefit from our “Revive” workshop. It is a free workshop that can can give you ways to communicate with your spouse that are safe and effective. You can use the link below to get more information and to apply. http://communitymarriagebuilders.com/2014/02/12/revive/

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