Stepfamilies are unique. They are not the same as nuclear (biological) families. It’s like apples and oranges.
An apple can be looked at as the nuclear (biological) family. An orange can be looked at as the stepfamily. They are both round and they are both fruit but that is where the similarities end. The apple is easy to take along for a snack, easy to eat, with very little waste. The orange, on the other hand, needs peeling, is juicy, and may have seeds and breaks into sections.
Even the term “stepfamily” is seen by some as negative. For example “the wicked stepmother”, “treated poorly as a stepchild”, etc. However the concept of a “blended family” sets up unrealistic expectations and makes all aspects of adjustment more difficult than they need to be.
Stepfamilies do not “blend”. Blending gives the image of something that happens in 15 seconds and creates something tasty. When families try to blend, it can seem like someone threw a load of stones in a blender.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone and that stepfamilies just function differently. You can be successful it just takes a little more kindness, patience, and forgiveness.
National Stepfamily Resource Center